We all do tasks that are not ours: Trying to make other people feel better, comfortable, ok, and understood.
Those are not our tasks, it is theirs. Doing their tasks undermines them and continues the drama.
Alfred Adler had a heuristic for discovering to whom a task belongs: The person that will ultimately benefit from the task is the person that needs to do it.
When in relation with others, we are beneficiaries of that relationship: In that way, the task of nurturing and growing that relationship is ours.