Pity is subtle.
To feel sorrow and sadness for another is a natural, healthy, and community-building experience.
To feel that, and then twist it into an “ah shame, look at that other!” turns it into a power play.
That moment of relief that you are not them. A respite from your reality and facing you.
That moment, is pity-as-power: The hand outstretched, to create distance.