The "weights of attention" was a metaphor gifted to me in conversation just as we started flowing and dancing in unison:
Between two people there is a weight of where the attention is.
If the weight is all on yourself, that leads nowhere.
If the weight is all on them, that takes you to where they are.
When you start imagining that weight as a slider-between. Then that weight can be adjusted freely to find the balancing point.
And when both are working towards balance - then that is when the dancing starts.