First, I am not a professional. I am not qualified to have an opinion about the actual intent of another. To believe that I can is arrogant and dangerous. So I choose not to have an opinion.
What I choose to remind myself of, is the Adlerian "clear separation of tasks": That the person who will ultimately benefit, is the one that has to do the task. To remove their task from them, undermines them.
This I can do: I can offer connection. And love, appreciation - without concern: I'm here, I love you. You matter to me. I can assist in ways you want to be assisted.
From this stance, I can add to another's experience without taking away from my own.
When someone does the same for me: That is when I know what true love is.