I have unease when I am given praise. That outstretched hand, that blesses me with words of absolute truth:
"You did great!"
"You are so great at this."
To accept that praise, is also to accept, that that hand can be taken away. It is a status trap.
It creates in me this need to then seek more praise. To find validation Over There.
It is well meaning people that do this. People that care deeply. Like me.
Now when I feel the need to stretch my hand out and bestow praise onto another, I turn that hand around and put it on my heart. Then talk from there.
It is a simple, simplistic, seemingly stupid thing to do.
This is what changes: I stop making absolute statements. I start making statements of appreciation. I start sharing how I am affected:
"That which you did, gave me new insight."
"That which you do, it teaches me how to."