We all have patterns of problem-solving that work for us.
Those are our problem-solving aesthetics.
When those are effective and works well for us, those aesthetics becomes deeply pleasing and important to us. Sharing those aesthetics with another becomes our primary way of solving problems together.
When someone takes our aesthetics and amplify, modify, and make it more pleasing: We work well together. If we can detect their aesthetics, and connect it to ours: We work well together.
When they do not see the patterns as we see them: We clash, and we cannot work together.